Month: October 2017

Nige’s Birthday

Awesome night last night. It was Nige’s birthday on Sunday. Unfortunately, we couldn’t do anything on that day because Nige was fixing the door on his aunty Barbara’s airing cupboard (it took him 5 hours, and she only made him 2 cups of tea. that’s such an unfair favour hours/cuppa ratio). We met at Claire

Reworking Of A Film

I’ve done a reworking of the 90’s rodent romp “Stuart Little”, however, becuase of CGI problems (mainly, I don’t know what those letters are supposed to mean), I have had to change the name to “Stuart a bit bigger Little”. I’ve cast myself as the little cute 6 foot, 45 year old mouse. Meryl Streep

Morning Thoughts

Morning Thoughts i don’t like radishes they are horrible my friend grew some they are gruesome Of course the most persistent of footballers is Robin Van Persievere Of course before he got more in touch with his feminine side of his personality he was called Robin Van Wallety My parents had great expectations for me

Nige Story

Awesome night last night. nigel (nige to his friends) came over a bit earlier than usual. he wanted to show me his wallet collection. he has five wallets in his collection, all owned by the great man himself (nige). he said he liked to change his wallet every five or six years “just to keep

Things I’ve Done Already Today

Things I’ve done already today Woke up Scratched Talked to Mrs Nelmes about parents evening Looked outside Ripped my cold heart out of my chest Made a teenager’s clothes smooth Argued with a teenager Won an argument with a teenager Saw a wasp Thought about the housework Thought about burning my house down Thought about

Roboscopes

roboscopes Aries. the tin opener. you be sitting on a bus on thursday, watching the rain the rain trickle down the windows and you start thinking dark thoughts about how you have messed up your pathetic life, however you suddenly change thoughts and start thinking about torturing Robbie Williams with a cheese grater. this cheers

Inaugural Speech

This is my first post on here. Obviously as an inaugural speech I’ve taken a leaf out of Trumps book and am pretending there are at least 3,000,000 people at this historic event. In reality, there is just me and Sonny (my dog(asleep)). Anyway, i hope you are excited about the future of this new