Morning Thoughts

Morning Thoughts

i don’t like radishes
they are horrible
my friend grew some
they are gruesome

Of course the most persistent of footballers is Robin Van Persievere

Of course before he got more in touch with his feminine side of his personality he was called Robin Van Wallety

My parents had great expectations for me but I’ve recently fallen on hard times. What the dickens is that all about?

About ten years ago I saw the author of Charlie and the chocolate factory outside a pub smoking a fag
“Roald?”
No, I think it was a benson and hedges.

“I can sea baked beans, thousands of baked beans”
That’s easy to say with Heinz-sight.

Will someone tell Alice cooper that he finished school years ago.

The was a young man from Essex
Who could never rhyme
Or grasp the structure of a limerick.

My next door neighbour is a grumpy fucker. You should have seen the grumpy look on his face when he saw the portrait I made of myself on his windscreen of his car, drawn in my own shit.

Hahaha. I fooled everyone. My life up to now has been a kitchen sink contemporary dance.

Is this a rhetorical question?

Got ct a brand new iPad case for Xmas. Perhaps next year he will get the iPad to go in it.

I need a shave. Or a biscuit. I need a biscuit.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
What do you call a serial killer who lies down on a road and bicycles ride all over him?
What do you call a serial killer who lies down on a road and bicycles rode all over him who?
A bicycle path
Eh?
What?

You may not believe this, but we were just watching “tipping point” and three counters crossed the tipping point and came out of my TV onto my carpet. Stunned

Sugar tax. I’d drink to that.

There is a mushroom expert on BBC breakfast. He seems like a really amusement bloke.

If you phone the speaking clock on your Apple iPhone and hold it to your ear, you can hear the pips. Awwww

I am listening to Leanne Rimes singing a song called “How To Kiss A Boy”
Immediately after listening to it, I wished someone has written a song called “How To Kill Leanne Rimes”

I just found out that Anton Du Beke is an actual real person.