Things I’ve Done Already Today

Things I’ve done already today

Woke up
Scratched
Talked to Mrs Nelmes about parents evening
Looked outside
Ripped my cold heart out of my chest
Made a teenager’s clothes smooth
Argued with a teenager
Won an argument with a teenager
Saw a wasp
Thought about the housework
Thought about burning my house down
Thought about going to prison
Decided to do the housework
Didn’t like the regional newsreader, ‘s shirt/tie combo
Watched the day get light (ish)
Said that Nuneaton would be a great place to go to diet
Got hated

Not bad for someone who has never met a real life Eskimo