Things I’ve Done Already Today

Things I’ve done already today Woke up Scratched Talked to Mrs Nelmes about parents evening Looked outside Ripped my cold heart out of my chest Made a teenager’s clothes smooth Argued with a teenager Won an argument with a teenager Saw a wasp Thought about the housework Thought about burning my house down Thought about

Roboscopes

roboscopes Aries. the tin opener. you be sitting on a bus on thursday, watching the rain the rain trickle down the windows and you start thinking dark thoughts about how you have messed up your pathetic life, however you suddenly change thoughts and start thinking about torturing Robbie Williams with a cheese grater. this cheers

Inaugural Speech

This is my first post on here. Obviously as an inaugural speech I’ve taken a leaf out of Trumps book and am pretending there are at least 3,000,000 people at this historic event. In reality, there is just me and Sonny (my dog(asleep)). Anyway, i hope you are excited about the future of this new